Titanic '97 1997, Rated PG-13 Paramount Home Video

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Starring Leonardo Dicaprio, Kate Winslet.

Boy, $200 million sure doesn't buy what it used to. With Titanic, self proclaimed "King of the World" and general pompous ass, uber-director James Cameron has created the most technically proficient and visually stunning motion picture Hollywood, and the world, has ever had the privilege to watch.

For those three people up in Round Lake who've been living in a cave since 1996, Titanic is the vastly over-budget film that ended up making approximately $9 trillion in world wide box office revenues, focusing on the maiden voyage of the ill fated luxury liner, the R.M.S. Titanic. Starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, and Celine Dion's song "I Will Go On", Cameron takes us on board the Titanic through the words of Rose, played by Gloria Stuart, a hundredsomething survivor of the ship's sinking.

Much has been made of the fact that of Titanic's 14 Oscar nominations, neither DiCaprio's acting nor Cameron's script were included in the Best Actor and Best Screenplay categories respectively. However, these exclusions were not oversights of the Academy members, but rather well justified decisions. Despite the enormous success of this film because of the fictional love affair between Winslet and DiCaprio, Cameron's script is weak--extraordinarily weak for a film that won an Oscar for Best Picture--and DiCaprio's performance strangely lacking. Both Winslet and DiCaprio portray likable characters, but DiCaprio's Jack Dawson just isn't as deep a character as Winslet's Rose Bukater. It is fun to watch the young couple walk together, practice spitting together, and draw each other naked, but this is merely a front for Cameron and his production crew to spend more money than controlled by a small country like Switzerland on sets, a really big recreation of the Titanic, and more models than even DiCaprio has dated.

Stylistically, there are few if any flaws with Titanic. An occasional blue or green screen is detectable, but the grand majority of the film's special effects are seamless. I was blown away by the computer generated images of the Titanic sailing, and of the shots with the camera sweeping from the nose to the bow of the Titanic, stopping momentarily at destinations in between to allow the viewer to hear snippets of dialogue between people and officers strolling on the decks.

While Cameron's script might not be worthy of comparisons with John Grisham's latest literary effort, his sense of pacing and rhythm are near perfect. Despite a running time of nearly three hours, I did not feel a real difference between Titanic and any given 90 minute film. The last hour of Titanic speeds by at a rate normally reserved for celebrities on the autobahn, with the stunning on-screen action, and eye popping cinematic experiences seemingly freezing time.

So rent Titanic, have a life preserver next to you on the couch if you deem it necessary, and men, arm yourself with Kleenex, because chances are good that some pollen will aggravate your allergies and make your eyes water repeatedly during the last reel. This was $200 million well spent.