News & Notes Inside the Week in Film

Another Self-Serving Controversy

The Three Stooges is in the crosshairs of the Catholic League.  Surprisingly, this is controversy is playing right into their eager, waiting, fund-raising hands.

by Chris Neumer

During a recent meeting, one of the magazine’s editorial assistants pitched a story to me about the negative stereotypes that surround Italian-Americans in film and on television.  She simply said the words ‘Jersey Shore’ and everyone within earshot knew exactly what she was talking about.

After discussing the matter for a while, I remained extremely hesitant about signing off on the story.  Not because I disagreed with her assessment that shows like Jersey Shore and The Sopranos and movies like The Godfather and Casino tend to paint a certain picture of Italian-Americans, but because there were no reasonable suggestions that could be made as how to change this.  It would have been beyond pointless to simply print a story that stated that it was bad to stereotype Italian-Americans as mob-connected lotharios.  Readers would agree with the headline and then wonder why they’d just spent time reading an article that seemed to be trying to prove something that every one already accepted as fact.

And so I killed the story.

What struck me as truly fascinating about the situation was that there weren’t any reasonable solutions to the issue; emphasis on the word ‘reasonable’. Getting Hollywood to stop making or re-promoting these shows and movies is certainly a solution, but given that the aforementioned shows and movies are some of the most popular and critically acclaimed in history, this idea ranks somewhere between preposterous and Gingrich for President.

Suggesting a boycott is the other major suggestion that generally turns out to be somewhat less than ideal; the louder one complains, the more press the movie is given, thus (often) causing more people to want to watch the offending project in the first place.  Basic Instinct for a good example of this.

In short, there really isn’t a whole lot that people can do.  If you don’t like the messages that Hollywood is delivering, um… tough.  An almost unlimited promotion and advertising budget gives the studios a lot of power and an almost insurmountable edge in having their voice reach the public.

I was pondering this inequity recently when I stumbled onto the latest supposed controversy surrounding the Farrelly Brothers’ portrayal of Catholics in their new movie, The Three Stooges.  According to Catholic League president, Bill Donohue, The Three Stooges mocks nuns and marks a cultural tipping point where Hollywood’s disrespect and animosity aimed at Catholics has reached a new low.  After a few minutes of thought, I realized that I’d missed something in my earlier attempt to contemplate solutions to the messages that Hollywood sent: that the anti-defamation groups don’t want the negative stereotypes and portrayals of their demographic to actually go away; quite the contrary appears to be true, they want the offending materials to remain present.  It’s hard to look at the Catholic League and Donohue’s actions and deduce anything else.

One State, Two State, Red State, Blue State

Chris Neumer is not happy about the fact that his life is starting to compare unfavorably to a Rob Schneider movie

by Chris Neumer

Driving through rural Ohio recently, I had a very interesting experience.  Interesting because if it happened in a movie, everyone in the audience would roll their eyes and wonder how much creative input the Wayans Brothers had in the project.  I want you to close your eyes and imagine the most over-the-top, stereotypical version of what would happen if a city guy happened to pull into a red state truck stop.  Triple that.  Then add a pregnant teenager with not one, but two young children in the backseat of her Pontiac Grand Am.  Finally, throw in a generous helping of overalls and chewing tobacco.  Now you’re starting to get warm…

Getting low on gas, I exited the highway in order to fill up.  I had no trouble finding an open pump at the gas station because my gas cap, as it is with almost all German cars, is on the right side of the vehicle; it is not on the left as it is with American cars.  I turned off my Volkswagen, paused the British podcast I was listening to, placed my Mac laptop under the passenger seat, slipped on my Birkenstocks and got out of the car.  I looked around the pump area to see if there were any recycling bins where I could throw my empty Orangina bottle and the plastic box in which my organic grapes came.  Seeing none, I put the recyclables into the back seat of my car so I could dispose of them properly when I got home.

It wasn’t until after I put the gas pump into my car and locked the handle in the ‘on’ position that I started to realize that everyone else at the gas station was staring at me in much the same way that the patrons of the rock-a-billy bar first looked at a naked Arnold Schwarzenegger in T2.  With a combination of confusion, trepidation and with more than just a hint of ass-kicking mischevousness.

As I looked out at the other patrons at the truck stop, I noticed that there were five other cars there.  Four of them were pick-ups and the fifth was a battered Pontiac Grand-Am.  Two twenty-something men just off work on a construction site stood in front of the nearest pick-up.  They both wore overalls and were dipping, as evidenced by the empty bottles of Mountain Dew they continually spit into.  An obviously pregnant teenager sat in the passenger seat of the Grand Am, singing along softly to the Taylor Swift song that was on the radio, while her two small children sat quietly in the back seat, waiting for their father to finish his shift as a cashier.

Erring on the side of caution, I decided it would be best if I didn’t ask one of the men chewing tobacco for his clothes and boots.  It’s always best to let sleeping dogs lie.  As I got back on the highway, I couldn’t help but think about the lowest-common denominator feeling of the whole scene.  Four pick-ups and a Grand-Am?  A pregnant teenager with two kids?  Guys wearing tattered overalls and spitting chaw?  Rob Schneider may have had problems with the forced nature of the whole thing.  That’s when my head perked up and I realized that there is a certain and distinct pleasure in learning that something that happens in your own life compares unfavorably to a Rob Schneider vehicle.  Ah, sweet mysteries of life.

There’s More Going On in Ben Stiller’s Pants Than You Realize

Ben Stiller, Jack Black and P. Diddy are fans of a most unusual cosmetic. I’ll leave it at that.

by Chris Neumer

Betty Beauty is a start-up cosmetics company with an interesting line of specialty products. This product has several ringing celebrity endorsements (if we can believe the Betty Beauty’s press release) from P. Diddy to Ben Stiller and Jack Black among others. P. Diddy liked Betty Beauty’s product so much that he had his assistant send them a thank you note. There’s no word on how Stiller and Black expressed their affection for the Betty Beauty’s new line of cosmetics.

So far, nothing that I’ve mentioned is remotely newsworthy or entertaining. You’re probably thinking something like, “Great, this is another example of how the line between journalism and advertising is blurring even more than usual.” But that’s because I haven’t mentioned that Betty Beauty specializes in pubic hair dyes. Yes, you read that correctly. Pubic hair dyes.

I can’t figure out what’s in it for the aforementioned stars to have their names in any way affiliated with Betty Beauty. Most of America has spent the last eight years trying to figure out how Stiller ended up with Christine Taylor… and that was before we knew he was a fan of dying his pubic hair.

More importantly, this marks the end of a nearly 39 week long stretch where I haven’t spent any time thinking about Stiller’s crotch. Damn you, Betty Beauty!!!!

The Photo of the Week

Melancholia

The 5 Things I Learned This Week

Fascinatingly true things to broaden your mind

1) There is a DVD series called Guys Gone Wild

2) The fourth best selling issue of People Magazine is the Selena memorial issue.

3) Ironically, the youngest man ever named “The Sexiest Man Alive” is the only member of the 23 winners who has died. JFK Jr. was 27 when he ‘earned’ the title in 1988.

4) Shiloh Jolie-Pitt’s middle name is “Nouvel”.

5) Dr. Pepper is owned by Dr. Pepper Snapple Group.