News & Notes Inside the Week in Film

Update On: The Manufactured Insanity of Amanda Bynes

The on-going media battle to make sure that America sees actress Amanda Bynes as crazy is still underway.  As is par for the course, the only reason Bynes’ actions seem insane is because they’re being labeled as such.

by Chris Neumer

Since I had my epiphany about actress Amanda Bynes—her supposed craziness is far more a creation of the media’s than anything that she’s actually doing—I have excitedly been clicking on every new headline involving Bynes that I see.  If the story features Bynes doing something extremely mundane and the writer talks about how bizarre it is, it reinforces my postulate; if the writer states that Bynes isn’t doing anything that unusual, a certain degree of my faith in mankind is restored.  It’s really a win-win situation for me now.  Sure, I’d prefer the latter, but being right has its own unique set of rewards too.

Thus, when I spotted an article about the ‘troubled’ Bynes’ ‘concerning’ trip to a hair salon last week, I couldn’t click through fast enough.  Suffice it to say, the narrative that Bynes is Lindsay Lohan-lite is continuing with less and less actual help from Bynes herself.  I’m almost starting to feel sorry for the amount of time and effort these gossip writers are putting into these stories; it cannot be easy taking one woman’s run-of-the-mill visit to a hair salon and turning it into something that could open with the sentence that Bynes’ “erratic behavior” has “sparked even more concern [about] the troubled star.”What did Bynes do this time?  Well, she went to the salon to have her hair done, tweeted pictures of the process, stating that she was “@ the hair salon getting ready for tonight!”, instagramed a couple of photos when she was done and exited the salon.

The real question is how that can be turned into something worthy of the label of erratic behavior.  And herein lies the real genius: you simply label it so.  “Amanda continued to post bizarre picture of herself on her Twitter page.  In one snap, she… checks out her hair which appears to be wet and unfinished in the image.”

The hairstylist who worked on Bynes’ hair told the press that she thought that Bynes was, “under the influence of something,” while she was in the chair.  Why?  Because Bynes didn’t take off her sunglasses during the session.  Also worth noting, so many paparazzi showed up at the salon to photograph Bynes with cameras with flash settings, that the salon owner was forced to call the police to help her leave.  Wait, why isn’t that being mentioned in any of the stories?  Because it humanizes her?  Precisely.

Also worthy of mention?  The fact that Bynes smoked a cigarette.  “Amanda’s continued odd behaviour comes after she was snapped smoking a… roll up cigarette in Times Square Manhattan on Monday.  The retired actress, who just turned 27, puffed on the tiny roach while wandering aimlessly through the bustling Manhattan streets.”

Yes, what Bynes calls errands, the gossip columns call wandering aimlessly.  Seriously, it takes some amazing talent (and just a little bit of gall) to not only make news out of a woman smoking a cigarette she rolled herself, but to have it be a further sign of craziness in a person.

Interestingly, this last week both Miley Cyrus and Jessie J posed for pictures in unicorn masks/balaclavas that completely covered their faces and both instances were seen as the women just having some fun.  I feel certain that if Bynes tweeted a picture of herself wearing a unicorn balaclava the internet would break.  C’est la vie.

 

Update On: The Manufactured Insanity of Amanda Bynes, Part 2

And then there was more.

by Chris Neumer

I wrote the above on April 12, prior to reading the headlines that Bynes had pulled a Britney Spears and A) shaved her head, B) had a Twitter meltdown and, C) posted a video of herself that caused one entertainment writer to state that Bynes was “in desperate need of serious professional help” and Huffington Post to label it as “The Strangest Thing to Come From Her Yet”.

I saw that unholy trio and feared for the worst.  I mean, my whole point has been that Bynes isn’t actually crazy; gossip writers are merely twisting everything that she does to make her seem crazy.*  But shaving your head?  There aren’t many ways of getting around the insanity of a young woman doing that.

* You know, as crazy as someone can seem while smoking a cigarette or tweeting pictures of them getting their hair done.

Then I read the articles.

And, as usual, Bynes’ craziness seemed confined entirely in the headlines.  I want to focus specifically on the ‘head shaving’ that Bynes did.

As I mentioned earlier, it’s pretty hard to explain away a young woman shaving her head.  When Britney Spears did it, it capped one of the most unhinged periods of her life.  According to her former manager, Spears shaved her head in order to pass a series of drug tests; since traces of the amphetamines she was addicted to would be present in her hair, she figured she’d get around that by shaving her head.  It seems ridiculous, yes, but it is also not hard to believe that a meth addict would arrive at that solution.  Today, all I remember of Spears’ shaved head is a video of her beating a car with an umbrella and the genuinely bizarre photos of her gleefully removing her hair.

What made Spears’ act so unusual was the very public nature of it; she was shaving her head in full view of a dozen paparazzi.  She was extremely aware of her public persona and went ahead with her shearing anyway.  It was a public breakdown.

When news of Bynes’ head shaving came out, it was information that was released by Bynes herself.  Sick of all the negative reports and comments about her wigs, her extensions and her hair in general, Bynes finally came clean and revealed that, due to excessive hair damage at a salon, she shaved her head.

This was not done in public and after it was done, was kept under wraps.  Frankly, having never seen a picture of Bynes head minus the extensions/wigs, I wonder whether the ‘shaved head’ part isn’t simply hyperbole; I wonder whether it was just cut short.  Either way, the major difference between the Spears head shaving incident and the Bynes one is that Bynes understood how what she was doing could be viewed and worked to hide it.  And, cue the sarcasm, Bynes is the apparently only woman on the planet to know the horrors of having hair damage.

My major fear at this point is that Bynes is going to quickly tire of reading and hearing how crazy she is, lash out at the offending outlets and, in doing so, be labeled even crazier than before.  As it stands, I cannot see this story having a happy ending.

 

The Photo of the Week

This Must Be The Place

And we’re back for more.  After last week’s slight detour to Eva Green’s rape kiss (see here), we are returning to hallowed ground with Sean Penn in his teased tumbleweed and powdered face from This Must Be the Place.  God, I love the look of Penn in this get up.

 

The 5 Things I Learned This Week

Fascinatingly true things to broaden your mind

 

1) The British call it ‘frubble.’ It’s when your wife comes home and she’s all glowing from a date with her new partner, and she wants to share.”

2) Scarlett Johansson has a twin brother named Hunter.

3)  It costs more to take the train to Los Angeles than it does to fly.  It costs $143 to take the train and it costs $90 to fly.

4) It costs $649 to reserve a sleeper compartment on the same train.

5) It takes 4 hours and 22 minutes to get to LA by plane and 42 hours and 50 minutes by train.

 

 

This Week’s Stories

New Releases

Crazy Enough

THE PLAYERS: Starring Chris Kattan, Brooke Anna Leedy, and Jonathan Beck Reed; written by Sean Lynch and Lance McDaniel; directed by Lance McDaniel. Released by Screen Media Films. Rated PG.

THE PLOT: Identical twins that were separated at birth finally meet, only to find out they have radically different personalities.

THE SKINNY:
+ If this isn’t a plot taken from an hour long episode of Knight Rider, I don’t know what is.  Twin brothers, one who is insane, the other a psychiatrist?  C’mon?  All that’s missing is one of them having a mustache!
+ Proof that Chris Kattan is not only still alive, but working.
– Um, this has a 1.5 rating on imdb.  That’s, uh, terrible.
+ Did I mention that it’s Chris Kattan playing the twins?  Both of them?
+ For better or worse, it doesn’t look like Kattan has aged since 1995.
+ Did I mention that the two twins end up switching places?
+ … and that the sane Kattan is put into a straight jacket?
+ Get some beer, call up your friends and enjoy.

YES, IT’S TRUE: About two percent of the general population in the United States is made up of twins.

Django Unchained

THE PLAYERS: Starring Jamie Foxx, Christoph Waltz, and Leonardo DiCaprio; written and directed by Quentin Tarantino. Released by The Weinstein Company. Rated R.

THE PLOT: With the help of a bounty hunter, a freed slave travels across the United States to save his wife from a cold-blooded plantation owner.

THE SKINNY:
+ Django Unchained is as glossy and sexy a movie as Hollywood is capable of putting out.  This film is an absolute treat for your eyes.
– This movie is 17 hours long.  It feels about double that.  If you’ve ever wondered how every muscle in your ass feels, watch this in one sitting; about two hours in, you will be able to differentiate between each and every muscle there is.
– This might sound surprising given that the movie is named after the character of Django, but there is some considerable debate as to whether Django is actually the lead character.  Will Smith began this line of thinking when, in explaining away his decision to not star in the movie, he said that he didn’t want to play a supporting role.
+ Tarantino won his second Oscar for his screenplay for Django Unchained.
– I’m just not a fan of Django Unchained.  While certain movies are split into two for financial reasons—ahem, The Hobbit, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and Twilight: Breaking Dawn—Django Unchained certainly seems like it should have been split in two.  There are two very distinct parts to it (Django becoming a badass and then Django rescuing his lady) and the latter of the two parts is probably the more important of the two.  Unfortunately, because it begins so late in the movie, my focus wasn’t where it should have been.  Given that there is a striking tone shift as part one segues to part two—from bloody action to a small time con… before ultimately ending on the most bloody action—this movie’s second act drags a lot more than it seems like it should.

YES, IT’S TRUE: Christoph Waltz was born in Vienna, Austria, but has both Austrian and German citizenships.

The Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia

THE PLAYERS: Starring Abigail Spencer, Emily Alyn Lind, Chad Michael Murray; written by David Coggeshall; directed by Tom Elkins. Released by Gold Circle Films. Rated R.

THE PLOT: A young couple and their child begin to see mysterious figures in their new home.

THE SKINNY:
– This movie has the most unwieldy title I’ve encountered in a long, long time.  It’s not just a play on the classic film, The Haunting, it’s The Haunting in Connecticut 2!  Oh, yeah, and it has a subtitle: Ghost of Georgia.
– Yes, if you’re doing the math correctly, that means that The Haunting in Connecticut does not take place in Connecticut.  If Hollywood is curious why people don’t like it, they could start right here.
– Also, this story about ghosts walking around and a family of women who can see the dead?  Yup, it’s based on a true story.
– The cast of this movie is supremely good looking.  Far too good looking to be believable for rural Georgia.  This does absolutely nothing to help with the putrid performances at the center of this production.

YES, IT’S TRUE: Charles Dickens’ ghostly tale, A Christmas Carol, has had about ten film adaptations.

Save the Date

THE PLAYERS: Starring Lizzy Caplan, Alison Brie, and Geoffrey Arend; written by Jeffrey Brown, Michael Mohan, and Egan Reich; directed by Michael Mohan. Released by IFC Films. Rated R.

THE PLOT: After Sarah (Caplan) is proposed to by her boyfriend, she begins to second-guess the relationship and leaves to have an affair with another man.

THE SKINNY:
– A hipster love story.  A super hipster love story.  So hipster that the Duplasses couldn’t have been involved because it would have caused a hipster black hole with the power to end life as we know it.
+ I like Geoffrey Arend.  America probably knows him best as Christina Hendricks’ husband, but I know him best as the ‘snozzberry guy’ from Super Troopers.  Oh yes, that was him.  He plays his part here well as the jilted yet extremely likeable doofus
– I think I just summed up every part Arend has ever played—and stands out amongst the crowd.  Yay, Arend!
– I think the biggest problem with Save the Date is the way the characters all think.  Not their line of thinking or their thought process, but the fact that all they do is think.  And think out loud.  I had relationships with issues and I’ve certainly questioned my place in the world and my happiness surrounding that, but it’s not all I do.  Nor does it make up the brunt of my conversation with everyone else in my life.  I know that some picking and choosing is necessary to tell a story, but at a certain point, the incessant thinking just needs to stop.  And people with beards who do a lot of thinking are a special kind of person.  Sigh…

YES, IT’S TRUE: The average engagement between a couple is 13-18 months.

The New Releases were written by Chris Neumer and Kayla Kinney